Bill O’Meara is a kind soul. The 79 -year-old not-yet-retired pediatric dentist (after years in private practice, he works at Hill Health Center in New Haven, a federally qualified health center founded in 1968) and Old Lyme resident wanted this story to be about Deborah, his life partner and wife of over 48 years.
An active businesswoman, volunteer and mother of eight, Deborah O’Meara was struck down by the rare disease of Wegener's granulomatosis on December 11, 2003. Within thirty days of diagnosis, the president of the Duck River Garden Club and treasurer of the Peppermint Ridge community association was gone. She was 73 years old.
But to tell this story, it must be about both Bill and Debbie, their contributions to Southeastern Connecticut, and Bill’s continuing tribute to his life’s love. Since his wife’s passing, O’Meara has put his energies into memorials in her honor, supporting the organizations and interests they shared.
Two West Hartford kids, the couple met there. They got married on July 2, 1995. After undergraduate degree at Holy Cross, Bill studied dentistry at Tufts in Boston and the University of Iowa. Debbie earned a two year degree at Endicott College in Massachusetts.
In addition to raising a large family, Deborah had been a successful businesswoman, co-managing a stock brokerage house in Hartford. Years before, she had worked as an assistant to Katharine Hepburn’s business manager for a couple of years.
The couple has the distinction of being the first residents of Peppermint Ridge, moving from West Hartford to Old Lyme in 1994 after raising their four boys and four girls. Bill had a large professional pediatric dentistry practice in Farmington.
They had always wanted a home at the shore and ran into Gary Smith, the developer, at the Home Show in Hartford. The development was no more than plans and plots on paper, but once she saw them Debbie was sold on the location.
Debbie designed the O’Meara home, a comfortable Cape Cod. She loved gardening, enjoyed music, playing the piano and organ. She also enjoyed sailing a 14-foot boat that the family kept up on Cape Cod.
They moved into the house in May 1994, and Debbie joined the Duck River Garden Club soon after. She was in her second year as president of the club when she became ill. She also became the first treasurer of the Peppermint Ridge home owners association, a post she served until she passed away.
Wegener's granulomatosis is a vexing disorder, O’Meara said. The auto-immune disease affects kidneys, lungs and upper respiratory tract and the resulting granulomas can destroy normal tissue. The National Institutes of Health considers it a mystery disease, affecting about one person in a million; some people can survive on medication. Despite aggressive treatment at Lawrence and Memorial Hospital, it proved fatal for Debbie.
Coping with his wife’s passing has not been easy for Bill, who has remained busy with work and activities. He joined the garden club and is a regular at monthly meetings and the annual May plant sale. The O’Meara’s also have seventeen grandchildren, most who live in New England and three in Northern Virginia.
“The thing that bothers me the most, to this day, is that we never had our fiftieth wedding anniversary,” he said. He said it took him three years to talk her into doing something special for the half century mark, so he was making plans when she got ill.
Instead, in tribute to his wife, O’Meara has extended his generosity to the people and organizations in their lives. They made a significant contribution to L&M Hospital in honor of the nurses in the continuing care unit, where Deborah had extensive care. He also contributed a Duck River Garden Club scholarship in her honor.
With the approval of the Peppermint Ridge community, O’Meara has also created a lasting tribute to Deborah, gracing one of the entrances to Peppermint Ride, off of Browns’ Lane, in Old Lyme with garden beds and a bronze plaque.
The landscape design of perennials and annuals was created by Glynn McAraw, fellow garden club member, who also has contributed countless hours to organize club’s flower beds at several public sites around Old Lyme.
The plaque has a three-dimensional likeness of Deborah, created by Dinn Brothers Trophies in West Springfield, Mass, from a family photo. Local craftsman Phillip Trowbridge mounted it on a piece of granite. O’Meara said a boulder found close by on the lot was the perfect size and shape to complete the monument.
The plaque was installed earlier this year and O’Meara tends the beds and keeps the seasonal annuals fresh, often with the help of visiting grandchildren.
“Debbie enjoyed life,” Bill said. “She was a not a person who got upset very often. She was a tremendous manager.”